My Birthday Gift From God

 I have to Write this down before I forget it.

I met someone, and this is my Fairy Tale.

I first saw him at work. I work for the school district as a Sign Aide. So, I go all over. This year I am assigned to a High School. My student is low language and LOVES food. So, his father signed him up for a foods class. This is where I met him.

 He was volunteering in the foods room, for school I think. From what I understand he needed hours towards a project of some kind to get his certification. Anyway, this is the class that we met in. We had chatted on and off. And I really began to like him, and it seemed that he could possibly like me too. However, he never made a move, and neither did I. It wasn’t until about a week ago that I finally got the courage to give him my number.

 I never really expected anything to come of it. I mean, if he called or texted great! But, if he didn’t I was down with that too. I just needed to know that I could do it. This is where I discovered that even the brightest light can cast a shadow.

 I had meant to give him my number on that Monday during class but he wasn’t there. So, I resolved to get it to him the next day during lunch in hopes that he would be there. I had no idea when he volunteered only that he was always there during my class. To my great surprise he was.

        

As I handed him my number and told him that I wouldn’t mind getting to know him better outside of school hours and he didn’t have to do anything if he didn’t want to that I saw a pain that I had never known existed.

     

  He took my number, thanked me, grabbed his things and left. I figured I had crossed some line and promised myself that I would think nothing more of it. About half way down the hallway I heard my name called. I turned around to find him running down the hall after me. He was all ease and friendliness. It was as if the pain I had seen not 1 minute before had never existed. He told me that he had wanted to asked me my number for a while, but just hadn't been able to. I was flattered! We chatted about this and that and somehow came to the subject of archery. He asked me to join him that afternoon after school. 

  

I have never had so much fun shooting in my life! We talked and teased. He even showed me how to shoot better. It was fantastic. We shot for about an hour and a half maybe 2 when he suddenly needed to go. He never said why, and I never asked. But, he did look urgent.

       He walked me to my car. I was about to get into it after saying goodbye for the 20^th time when he stopped me.

“I have something I need to tell you before we go any further.”

   He said this in so serious a ton I was a little scared. He then went on to tell me that if he were to text me I was to swear I would delete them after every conversation. He was leaving soon for a job as a sue chef in Chicago and didn’t want anyone hurt. I tried to ask him what he meant, but he only kept insisting that I swear to do as he asked. He looked on the verge of panic so I finally agreed. He said nothing after only nodded, got into his car and left.

       He wasn’t at school for the rest of the week, but we texted on and off. Friday was the last text I received from him. I figured he had dropped me, but then Monday he asked me on a text date for the next day. I was a little weirded out, but I accepted. I mean it did sound fun, but what the heck were we going to do. 

     

 Our text date was during my lunch hour. And as geeky as this sounds, it was perfect. We texted the whole hour, zipping texts to each other right and left. It is in this conversation that he went a little father into depth about what he had said to me on Tuesday when we had finished shooting.

        

 Apparently there had been some traumatic happening that he had been seeing a psychologist for. It was recommended to him by his psychologist that maybe this new job offer would be a chance for him to start over fresh. But, if he was to do this he would need to cut ties with everything and everyone here in Utah and just press forward. He was not to look back on anything bad or anything good, to just start completely over and rediscover himself.

  He said that he had wanted to make a move for a very long time. But, knowing that after his graduation that he would be leaving he didn’t want to make ties he didn’t want to cut. That is why he had told me to delete everything he ever sent me in text form. He only wanted me to have the memories so that I could move on easier. Because no matter how good we could become he was leaving. He was leaving everything. It had to happen.

      

 He figured my giving him my number myself not 2 weeks before he was to cut ties with Utah was God's way of testing his decision to go because I had certainly made things harder. I told him that I understood, but how sad I was going to be to lose him. He replied with an apology about having to leave on my Birthday, And I forgave him. 

 We then chatted about my birthday and what he thought my friends might have planed, and how lame it was that I had to get up at 6 for the basket, and then lunch ended. I have never been more annoyed to have to go back to work than I was at that moment. I could have talked to him forever. 

I didn't really get to see him much after that. He did bring me lunch on Wednesday, but he couldn't stay long. I did, however, get a text on Thursday moring asking if I wanted to go shooting again on Friday after school. Of course I said yes! 

Today was Friday. And this is where my story ends. As I was walking to my car I recived another text asking me if it was okay if I met him at the Lirbray instead. I thought this strange, but agreed to meet him there. He was waiting in the front lobby when I got there. He grabbed my hand and pulled me to the fiction section. "I have a game." he said and then he began to explain the following rules. 

We were to grab a book at random and and read the first spoken phrase we found. The second person had 5 seconds to find a book and 3 seconds to find a replying phrase. I'm not sure what happened if you didn't  succeed in the time limits, but I don't think that was the point. 

We made our way all over the fiction section hastely whispering random phrases to each other. It was a stupid game, but he made it so much fun. Anything with him could have been fun. It was when we came to the last section that things began to slow down. I had just read arandom phrase about someone taking my dog, when he read from a Star Wars book about Leah not being there to stop them, the world just stopped. And he kissed me. 

It wasn't a hard kiss, but it was passionate. When we pulled apart he told me he had to go. I told him that I undstood, but didn't want him to go. He replied saying that this was happening and that he thanked God that it did. I agreed. He asked me if I wanted to go with him, and I told him he knew I couldn't. (But in that instance I wanted to). 

He smiled at me and told me he needed to ask me one last favor. I told him I would. He aske me to close my eyes. I did. Seconds later I could hear him turning and walking away. I opened my eyes, and watched him leave. I wanted more than anything to stop him and say that whatever had happened, that we could get through it togeather, that he didn't have to leave, but I knew better, and I knew that in equal proportions to as much as I wanted him to stay with me, he needed to leave. So, I let him. I waited a full 10 minutes before I too left the library in hopes that I had given him enough time leave. I didn't see him on my way out, and I will probably never see him again.

I know that despite the pain I feel with his absents, there is a streangth he left with me too. What we had was a God send. As one of my besties pointed out to me, maybe God wanted him to know that there was something good about Utah despite all the bad he had been through, and that it was to build me up. I would have to agree. There was a light in his eyes that hadn't been there before. He was happy. And, I feel stronger than I ever have in my entire life. I know that I am campable of being loved. I know that it is possible for somone to feel a romatic passion for me, and this breaks every fear of rejection I have ever had. I am as strong as I allow myself to be, and with the love he gave me, and made me feel I can do anything.

My only regret is that I have noting physical to hold onto. I have no tangible proof of his existence, only a memory. And this memory is worth more than all the jewels in the world to me.

I can honestly say now, that for my birthday God gave me a fairy tale. It's just too bad it didn't end like one. Well, not in the way they normally do any way.